This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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