Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
