Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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