I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
You're like the curious george of whores
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
