Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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