yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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