I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
