I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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