i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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