I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
