I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
