im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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