If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize
