you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
