does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
