Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
