i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
