i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
