Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
