You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
