Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
