Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Randomize
