they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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