Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
