good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
