Duck Duck Cougar?
do herpes really smell.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
