Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
