think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
