HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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