SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
