I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
