the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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