is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
