it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
