There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
