I think my fart just growled at me.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
