sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
