I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
