i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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