also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
