As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
