Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Randomize
