Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
