Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
