If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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