so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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