we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
so much tequila, so little girl.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
