would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i think i have two assholes
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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