as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
