We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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