And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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