Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
