was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
